I’m sorry. I wish I liked this movie as much as you do. I really do.Non-spoiler thoughts:
Don’t get me wrong, the movie is fine. There’s a lot I like in it, and it isn’t bad. It’s just not very good. There’s a difference between having a good time watching a movie, and the movie being good (I didn’t particularly enjoy watching Schindler’s List for instance, but it’s a great movie). The ending is very bold, and unexpected, and I suspect most people are only really remembering that about the movie. Because nothing really happens in the first 140 minutes of this movie. Again, it’s not bad stuff, but just a lot of hollow action scenes. I keep seeing the movie being praised for handling 20 important characters and bringing it all together in the end. You know why they did this so easily? Because 15 of those characters do virtually nothing the whole time. What was your favorite Captain America moment? When he stood there, or when he jogged across the screen? Or his single joke about hair? Black Panther was cool that time he…jumped.
This is Marvel number 19, and it has to be the worst acted one to date. Chris Pratt is bad. Chris Evans is bad. Mark Ruffalo, in the biggest twist of the movie, has probably the worst performance of his career. Chris Hemsworth fortunately is good, and is clearly the MVC (Most Valuable Chris). Cumberbatch is good. Tom Holland is excellent. Zoe Saldana is good. Elizabeth Olsen didn’t even attempt to a do a Russian accent anymore, but is otherwise good (for the 400 seconds she’s on screen). Robert Downey Jr. gives his least interesting version of Tony yet. The only people who seemed to care about their performances were the voice actors (Cooper and Brolin are each very good) and that’s probably just because they were allowed to sit down. Everyone else is just there. Maybe they filmed dress rehearsals and didn’t tell everyone? You just can’t have an ensemble movie like this and let half the cast mail it in because the ending is cool.
I know I’m being very negative; there are plenty of good thing, too;. Most of the Spider-Man stuff is great. Him and Thor are the best members of the team, and the only ones who have been good in every movie so far. Spider-Man’s jokes and nervousness come across as very natural and always fit the situation. Everything the Guardians team did in Infinity War is better than everything in Guardians 2 (which isn’t saying much). Thanos was well developed (and I don’t just mean his massive shoulders) and carried the film well, especially since this is essentially his introduction to the greater audience.
Spoilers:
My biggest criticism is that most of the cast do nothing the entire movie. Chris Evans had so little to do, he didn’t even bother to cut his hair and beard for the role. And he’s inarguably one of the two main characters of this series. The credits say Scarlett Johansson was in this, but there’s little evidence that’s true. Black Panther was basically a well dressed butler (“Welcome to Wakanda, I’ll be in the corner if you need anything.”) They didn’t even bother bringing in Ant-Man or Hawkeye, but only because there was no standing room behind the 4 people who actually do something in this story. Hulk’s entire subplot is that he isn’t able to actually participate. I mostly bring this up because I keep seeing people praise this movie for juggling so many characters and storylines. This movie was like a football game. There’s a ton of guys on the team, and they all showed up for the game, but most of them just stand on the sideline all game and hope their team wins.
Speaking of Hulk’s storyline; what was that? It was so dumb. It’s the only storyline in the film I actively disliked. It was clearly a forced solution to a writer’s problem. We need Thanos to be the strongest character, but Hulk is too strong. So now Banner suddenly is unable to turn into the Hulk anymore. Doesn’t matter if he’s mad, upset, scared, or anything. He just can’t anymore. There’s no evidence or buildup over the last 10 years that this might become an issue. Ragnorak occurs probably mere days before this movie starts, and Banner has none of these issues. Beyond that, this irHulktile dysfunction is played for laughs over and over again. It got grating and I couldn’t take it seriously. This is a serious problem for a superhero to have, and Banner barely seemed to care. I get it, Hulk is too scared of Thanos. It’s unearned and a lazy writer’s decision.
The movie is 90% action, soit’s hard to quickly pinpoint specific fight scenes. Mostly because they’re all so bland they blur together. But three pivotal sequences bothered me by how lame of solutions they were. 1) Tony and Spider-Man are fighting Ebony Maw (Thano’s awesome minion) in a spaceship, and they kill him by secretly blowing a hole in the side of the ship, and having only him fly out, despite the fact he has insane telekinetic powers. Spider-Man, however, in a brand new suit, survives. Cool. What a lame end to a great character. 2) In an attempt at an emotional scene, the space gang has tied up Thanos and StarLord yells at him while everyone pulls at Thano’s hand in the background for 3 straight minutes. There was no attempt to use their collective powers to get his glove off. They just…pull on it. Cool stuff guys. 3) Thor goes to pretty intense lengths to get a weapon to kill Thanos. He knows the gravity of the situation. And he chops Thanos in the chest. Not the head. Not the glove that holds all the power. In his 4 foot deep chest. Thor loves killing people. He wouldhave gone for the neck. (The last one is nitpicky, but they should have done something better.)
I have a few other issues I won’t go into detail on. Thanos has searched for these stones for 10 years, and collects them all in like 8 hours. Wanda apparently loves Vision (who sucks, and needs to stay dead) which is fine, but she is willing to risk having half of all life destroyed to try to keep him alive? She’s the only person strong enough to ensure Thanos doesn’t get this stone, but let’s wait til 11:59 and 59 seconds on the doomsday clock before going for it. Great job Wanda. I just don’t buy it. Makes the ending cheaper.
Fans will say I’m nitpicking, but I don’t think my criticisms are any more egregious than people sweeping the flaws under the rug just because the end is so cool.
Thor is the best part of the movie. Iron Man is probably the coolest of the main team, but after a few movies, his fight scenes start to lose their luster. There’s only so many ways to hover and shoot missles. But Thor is just so cinematic. Every time he calls lighting and slams the ground it just works on screen. Hemsworth has been good since Thor 1, and he gets better and better with each movie.
But Greg, what about THAT ending???
Eh. I didn’t expect it and I love that they’re really going for it. But I just don’t buy it. For one, it only looked okay (and movies are a visual storytelling medium. If you don’t care about the visuals, just read thesynopsis on wikipedia and save yourself 3 hours). It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t do much for me. QUICK SPOILER FOR HARRY POTTER (Voldemort died the same way. It wasn’t satisfying then either). END SPOILER OF HARRY POTTER
But mostly, it so obviously is a fake out. If 3 or 4 of them died, that would have my interest. But basically everyone but the original Avengers (how convenient)? It’s just too much. I’m as curious as you are on how Captain Marvel and Tony save everyone and reverse the genocide, but 0% of me thinks these characters are actually dead. I got the feeling the end was supposed to be emotional, but emotional about what? Oh no, these characters are gone, until…(checks imdb) next spring when Untitled Avengers Movie comes out. When Tony and Cap finally sacrifice themselves for the team (and for the chance to make different movies again) I’ll be actuallysad (hopefully). But until then, meh.
A good ending doesn’t mean the rest of the movie was good. And the rest of the movie was only okay. I’m probably wrong. I often am. But before you get mad, what parts of the first 2 hours of this movie do you think are top scenes in the MCU? I can’t think of many.
72/100, mixed bag.
Greg Watched That 
